Last night I experienced one of the most biggest scares of my entire life. Nothing could've been worse then this. The fear that was present in my mind, and my heart was just too intense to even put in words. I thought I would somehow lose my best friend. It was all too scary and I felt so useless. All I could do was say "God will be there to protect him, and keep him safe" or say "He's okay, he's just sleeping"I wouldn't know what to do if this person disappeared from my life. I honestly wouldn't be able to live. I now know the feeling of thinking that I lost someone so extremely important in my life. I can't help but treasure significant people that will one day, leave my side. People in life, they come and they go. Even family, even those who's blood runs through your veins, who's skin colour you possess, who's eye colour you have. They all somehow, one day, pick up and leave you, leave the world...
Today my friend sent me a prayer/saying and it was about how wasting time, even a micro second, will be wasteful. And it made me think. Gosh that's so true. I don't want to wait around for something that I know won't happen. I don't want to look back at the negative, and cry. Instead, I want to look forward, and smile. I want to reminisce the positive, and the things that made me happy. I want to treasure all the love and care people give to me. I want to stay happy and I want to stay stable. I want to be crazy, and wild, and dream. I want to be able to live this life, with heart breaks, and things that make me break down. I want the pain, I want the tears, I want people to come and go. Because in the end, I'm learning, in the end, my tears will dry up, in the end, my heart will mend, in the end, those who truly love me, will be there. I want to use up all 86 400 seconds in a day to do the things I know are worthwhile. I want to live the real life. Not the perfect life, or the good life because there is no such thing as perfection or goodness amongst everthing. There is, however, realism. I can live the real life
xx Veronica
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