180810 #3

"Please love me...that's all I've ever wanted."

I pleaded, almost wanting to drop on my knees and beg. But what good would that do. He'd just stand there and look at me as if I were stupid and insane. I guess I am insane. All this has driven me over the edge, self inflicting pain and insanity. Sad don't you think? That a human being would suffer this much for another human being. Aren't we all equals? Shouldn't we fight equally for each other? I guess if it hurts this much...it must be love.

He is so perfect. From the tip of his dark brown hair, to the tip of his pale toes. But love has no criteria. No one goes around ticking perfect personalities and appearances off their list.

 

Love are clichés, it's wishing for you at 11:11 and getting angry when I miss it by a minute. It's staying up at odd hours of the night and waking up at 6am, thinking of you. It's listening to Death Cab For Cutie and willing to follow you into the dark. It's mindlessly wondering around the house, checking the fridge every now and then looking for something that isn't there. It's looking pretty every time I go out just in case I get that rare opportunity to bump into you. It's crying without even trying. It's digging for memories that no longer exist. It's missing you every second of the day, missing you to the point where my dreams only contain images of you. It's waking up to find that we're no longer together and feeling upset. It's placing my feet on the freezing timber floors in the morning, and wishing you were there to cuddle the cold out of me. It's rugging up with pillows and blankets whilst watching a horror movie and wishing it were you that I was with. It's seeing that loved up couple walking hand in hand in the streets and hoping one day it'd be you and I. It's making the effort to rebuild that stack of books that have been knocked to the floor. It’s eating that particular candy that we use to share, it’s watching that movie that we first watched together. It’s loving you unconditionally and painfully...

xx Veronica