200410

So school's started. I've had so much trouble settling myself on the inside. Its great seeing friends again, but I think I'd rather stay home and just sleep the pain away. The assignment phase has passed by...in slow motion mind you. Now for exams. Crucial I tell you. I haven't been able to sleep properly for days. Sleeping at 3am, waking up at 7am. 4 hours sleep really fucks me up. I've been told to take sleeping pills, but what's that gonna do? I've learnt this one thing about me. Pills just don't work with me. Any ache I have in my body, aspirin simply does not agree with me, and it's as if I hadn't taken the pill at all. So I tend to just let the pain whither it's way through my body, until I'm restless and on the verge of banging my head against a wall just to see blood. Maybe my entry today is dark, and a tad depressing. Sometimes I just want to scream! I do. I scream into my pillow all the time, but god, does nothing. Then I feel like crying. You know that feeling where, you want to cry, easily let it all out but you just can't? Something's not letting you tear up and cry. Even when I'm watching A Walk to Remember, or The Notebook. Sometimes, it's good to just sit there. Blank minded. Detached. Not speaking, not moving. Just blocking everything out.

xx Veronica